Many people try to improve their lives by attempting to change and control the world around them.

We think we’ll feel better when other people change, or when our circumstances finally change. We may also try to control our feelings by detaching, rationalizing, and “staying positive.” These strategies rarely work well in the long run. As one of my good friends used to say, “don’t put frosting on a poop cake.” The original problem still exists, and the self-deception creates bigger problems.

The key to consistently feeling better lies in the understanding that beliefs shape perceptions, perceptions drive emotions, and emotions influence our physical health and lived experiences.

Emotions are energy. They are natural responses to life experiences, meant to give us feedback and move through our bodies quickly as “energy in motion.”

Feelings are personal interpretations of emotional energy.

It’s important to make this distinction because feelings and emotions don’t always go hand in hand. Many of us have emotions that we don’t allow ourselves to feel. The body experiences these emotions, but the conscious mind pushes them out of awareness.